La storia piu’ romantica…

Sono giorni ormai, che trovo nei dialoghi con gli amici, un argomento comune: “l’Amore”, nulla di strano visto che l’amore ci accompagna ogni giorno della nostra esistenza ed…”è tutto intorno a Noi”, ma l’Amore di cui sto parlando è l’amore piu’ ROMANTICO che ci sia, quello tra un uomo ed una donna che invecchiano insieme.
Ieri ne parlavo con V., che mi raccontava di quanto fosse triste che la coppia di genitori ormai anziani di un suo amico stesse divorziando, mi ha proprio detto ” Sabry, che fregatura, io con la donna della mia vita vorrei invecchiarci”…e…
non è quello che vorremmo tutti?!

“The most romantic story is not Romeo and Juliet who died together…But grandpa e granma who grow old together..”

Un discorso che ti puo’ cambiare la vita!

Diverso tempo fa ho avuto modo di ascoltare questo discorso che Steve Jobs, CEO di Apple e Pixar Animation tenne ai laureandi dell’università di Standford nel 2005, solo ora capisco che questo discorso ha influenzato le mie scelte negli ultimi 3 anni. Vi invito a darci un occhio, per chi, l’inglese lo mastica meno, ho trascritto tutto il testo qui sotto, ditemi cosa ne pensate;)!

Buon w-end a tutti


I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Lo studio: Il Matrimonio fa Bene!

Stamane sul sito della Repubblica ho letto questo articolo e…la giornata è iniziata con uno spirito differente! Ve lo riporto qui di seguito

Benefici mentali per Lei e Fisici per lui

Una ricerca dell’Università di Cardiff ha analizzato le vite di un milione di europei, scoprendo che le persone stabilmente sposate hanno un tasso di mortalità inferiore del 10-15%. Più dura l’unione, più crescono i benefici. E l’Oms avverte: “Effetto meno positivo per i conviventi”


ROMA – “Tutto sommato, vale la pena di fare lo sforzo”. Il British Medical Journal prende in esame il matrimonio e i suoi effetti sulla salute. Soppesati pro e contro, i medici promuovono la stabilità della vita di coppia, che favorisce l’equilibrio emotivo nelle donne e obbliga gli uomini a darsi da fare per frenare il declino fisico.

“Le persone sposate – concludono  David e John Gallacher (padre e figlio) dell’università di Cardiff – hanno un tasso di mortalità del 10-15 per cento più basso rispetto alla media”. Per le donne, la soddisfazione di una relazione stabile ha effetti soprattutto sulla psiche. Per gli uomini, la pressione delle mogli affinché mangino cibo sano e riducano gli stravizi funziona invece sul piano fisico.

Lo studio, condotto su oltre un milione di persone in sette paesi europei, è pubblicato dal British Medical Journal come editoriale in vista di San Valentino. Anche se il suo tono a volte è leggero e scherzoso, lo studio conferma i risultati ottenuti in molte ricerche passate sui benefici di una vita di coppia stabile rispetto alle altalene emotive dei rapporti mordi e fuggi. Equilibrio, vita sana, una vasta rete di amicizie e il supporto della famiglia allargata fanno propendere la bilancia verso il “sì”. Ma come ogni medicina, anche il matrimonio può avere effetti collaterali e richiede le sue precauzioni.

“Affinché Cupido possa fare bene alla salute, è richiesto un certo grado

di maturità” raccomandano i dottori Gallacher. Secondo i quali, le cotte adolescenziali saranno anche esperienze da sogno capaci di far raggiungere al cervello picchi intensi di dopamina, “ma risultano spesso in un aumento dei sintomi depressivi”. E non hanno gli stessi benefici dei rapporti a lungo termine “in cui prevale l’ormone dell’attaccamento, l’ossitocina”.

L’età consigliata dai medici per impegnarsi in una relazione seria è 25 anni per gli uomini e 19 per le donne, anche per ragioni di maggiore fertilità. Più a lungo il matrimonio dura, maggiori saranno i benefici per la salute. Ma se proprio l’unione non dovesse funzionare, vale il vecchio adagio “meglio soli che male accompagnati”. Non è delle più sorprendenti la conclusione dei dottori Gallacher secondo cui “Non tutte le relazioni fanno bene alla salute, i rapporti tesi e difficili hanno un impatto negativo sull’equilibrio mentale e la loro rottura produce effetti benefici. Molto meglio allora tornare a essere single”.

I buoni consigli dei medici inglesi (gli stessi che da sempre hanno dato le mamme) si appoggiano anche a un rapporto pubblicato l’anno scorso dall’Organizzazione mondiale della sanità. Sposarsi (e solo sposarsi: convivere non è la stessa cosa, soprattutto per le donne) riduce depressione, ansietà e sbalzi emotivi. L’università di Chicago ad agosto scorso ha misurato il livello di cortisolo, un ormone legato allo stress, in un gruppo di individui e ha notato che nelle coppie sposate il valore era ridotto. Mentre uno studio della Michigan State University, pubblicato a dicembre, ha trovato che gli uomini sposati si comportano meglio dei single: bevono meno e commettono meno reati.

Film: Se scappi ti sposo

Un film di Garry Marshall. Con Julia Roberts, Richard gere, Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo, Rita Wilson. Titolo originale Runaway Bride.durata 116 min. – USA 1999 .

Questo slideshow richiede JavaScript.

(di Maurizio Porro Il Corriere della Sera)

Ritorna la coppia romantica per eccellenza, il “buddista gigolo” Richard Gere e Julia Roberts, la “pretty woman” del fortunatissimo film di otto anni fa, ancora insieme non per un seguito, più volte smentito, di quella fortunata Cenerentola all’americana, ma per “Runaway bride”, classica commedia sentimentale hollywoodiana, sul set in ottobre, nella quale lei è una rovina – fidanzati, che lascia sempre a un passo dall’altare e lui è un giornalista incaricato di scrivere un reportage su di lei. Due personaggi molto tipici, tanto che vengono in mente subito le classiche schermaglie della Hollywood anni ’30, metti Katharine Hepburn e Spencer Tracy con i loro orgogli, metti Mirna Loy e William Powell col loro cagnolino, metti Rock Hudson e Doris Day con le loro lunghe telefonate a metà schermo o Danny Kaye con Virginia Mayo; e poi il nostro Vittorio De Sica con la Lollo o il nostro Marcello Mastroianni con Sofia, coppie che, negli anni trionfali del grande schermo, facevano credere a qualunque desinenza del verbo amare.

La frase che più celebre del Film:

Garantisco che per noi ci saranno tempi duri…garantisco che uno di noi due o tutti e due alla fine si stancherà…ma garantisco anche che se non ti chiederò di essere mia per sempre lo rimpiangerò a vita, perché sento nel mio cuore che sei l’unica per me.”

Cinema: I Passi dell’amore

“L’amore è sempre paziente e gentile, non è mai geloso… L’amore non è mai presuntuoso o pieno di se, non è mai scortese o egoista, non si offende e non porta rancore. L’amore non prova soddisfazione per i peccati degli altri ma si delizia della verità. È sempre pronto a scusare, a dare fiducia, a sperare e a resistere a qualsiasi tempesta”…NOI POSSIAMO RESISTERE A QUALSIASI TEMPESTA!!!

L’Amore: Love Actually

È opinione generale che ormai viviamo in un mondo fatto di odio e avidità, ma io non sono d’accordo. Per me l’amore è dappertutto. Spesso non è particolarmente nobile o degno di note, ma comunque c’è: padri e figli, madri e figlie, mariti e mogli, fidanzati, fidanzate, amici. Quando sono state colpite le Torri Gemelle, per quanto ne so nessuna delle persone che stava per morire ha telefonato per parlare di odio o vendetta, erano tutti messaggi d’amore. Io ho la strana sensazione che se lo cerchi scoprirai che l’amore davvero è dappertutto.

Essere se stessi..

“La mia felicità sono io, non tu,
non soltanto perchè tu puoi essere fugace,
ma anche perchè tu vuoi che io sia ciò che non sono.
Io non posso essere felice quando cambio
soltanto per soddisfare il tuo egoismo.
E non posso sentirmi felice quando mi critichi
perchè non penso i tuoi pensieri,
e non vedo come vedi tu.
Mi chiami ribelle.
Eppure ogni volta che ho respinto
le tue convinzioni tu ti sei ribellato alle mie.
Io non cerco di plasmare la tua mente.
So che ti sforzi di essere te stesso.
E non posso permettere che tu mi dica cosa devo essere…
Perchè sono impegnata ad essere me.”

Leo Buscaglia, Vivere Amare capirsi

Ama chi sei e nessuno sarà mai come TE!

A tutti coloro che vedono questo bicchiere mezzo pieno, e non mezzo vuoto.. e usano il tempo per essere ciò che autenticamente sono; a chi si è perso percorrendo una strada che non è la sua, e si sente libero se, malgrado la paura, trova il coraggio di scegliere. A chi si sente speciale nel vedere ciò che ha, e non quello che gli manca. A tutti coloro che vedono la loro unicità come un bicchiere mezzo pieno.

Ama chi sei e nessuno sarà mai come Te!